This is 40

I turned 40 earlier this month. It’s a birthday I was looking forward to, if only because I’ve witnessed how this fifth decade of life has been good to Rob and his growth as person, and I’ve been looking forward to experiencing a little of that myself. Truth be told, I don’t feel any different than I did three weeks ago, which is really just a way of saying that despite what my birth certificate says, my head is still convinced that I might only be 25.

Even though my birthday falls just 10 days after Christmas, my friends and family happily donned their party planning hats, and I literally spend a week celebrating my milestone birthday with some of my favourite people. From a home cooked dinner with cake and presents on the actual day, to a dinner out with a few of my favourite food-writing friends the next night, the early part of the week was feted in sweet yet simple ways. It was the weekend following my birthday that Rob, who knew I didn’t want a big party, got a little more creative by planning not one or two, but THREE different gatherings with varying groups of people.

On the Friday night he invited a few of my girlfriends over for a three-course meal cooked by him. For real. He started with wine and cheese in the living room, before calling us to the table for the first course, which was prepared by him and served by Jackson. We feasted on butternut squash soup with Gruyere croutons, followed by salmon served with roasted potatoes and a side of veg, and then birthday cake, which he picked up from a nearby bakery.

For Saturday night, he planned for a nice dinner out with my sister and her husband, and arranged that we leave our combined six kids behind for an adults-only evening. Matthew also had his first sleepover away from home that night, which resulted in my first sleep through the night since February of last year, a real birthday gift of it’s own (side note: that boy of mine is delightful, but also happens to be one of the worst sleepers I’ve ever encountered).

Finally, on Sunday night, Rob invited our entire Sunday Supper crew for a family birthday party, and cooked dinner for 24 people himself. My sister and nieces took care of the birthday cake and sweets, while my mom supplied the pre-dinner snacks My nine nieces and nephews were here, as was my oldest friend from University, and in addition to the great food, there were presents and cake, and “happy birthday” signing and it was utterly perfect. There is no denying that I was feeling the love, and just a little bit spoiled, after FOUR celebrations in less a week. People took care of me and helped me celebrate, and for the first time in a long, long time I wasn’t the CEO of the family birthday celebrations, and it was kind of nice.

What about you guys? Any big birthdays on the horizon for you or your kids? How are you celebrating this year?

Comments

[Michelle R.]

Those celebrations sound WONDERFUL, Jan! Happy 40th!

[Melissa]

Congrats and happy belated birthday! I admit, I stressed over 40 (three years ago) a lot but, once I accepted it wasn't going to go away, I realized that is some ways it's awesome. I know myself now, i know what makes me happy and what I'm capable of (a lot more than I thought back in my 20s and 30s) and how strong I can be. And I really just don't care anymore what other people think or about keeping up with the Jones's. That's pretty liberating - you can focus on so much more when you're not worrying about that stuff! Cheers to an amazing next decade!

[Carolyn]

Congratulations and happy belated birthday. What an amazing spouse! You are lucky and deserve it! I'm 45 and while I like some of the liberation that comes with that - it's true that caring about what people think of you becomes less important - it's also a challenging decade - body changes and the squeeze of parenting, aging parents and career.

[Jan Scott]

Thanks, Carolyn! Yes, at the top of my This is 40 list is finally accepting that I now need to really take care of my body because it is aging... so I joined the same gym that Rob and the boys go to and am making an effort to get there three times a week. I can honestly say that I never regret going - quite the opposite actually - but its making the time to do it that can be a challenge. Also, I hear you on the kids, parents, career front. My parents are still quite young (one isnt even 60 yet!), but Robs are well into their 70s and were definitely experiencing what it means to be the sandwich generation. 

[Jan Scott]

They were really fun! Thanks for the kind wishes! xx

[Jan Scott]

Yes! Youre so right. Thats the thing Ive loved the most about seeing Rob go through his 40s (hell be 49 on Sunday)... all of sudden he sported this lovely attitude of this is me... if you like it, well great... but if you dont, thats okay, too and suddenly he just seemed so much more comfortable in his own skin. He didnt feel any need to apologize for what he did or didnt liked and I loved that. I also think that after nearly 20 years (eek!), he has definitely become his best self in this decade, and I hope the same will happen for me! Also... I totally thought you were in your early-mid 30s!!